It sounds so NICE, doesn't it? 'Recovery Week'... ahh... or even better... 'Active Recovery Week'... brings to mind images of beaches, ocean waves crashing against the shore... salty spray... tanned, fit bodies running along the beach, swimming in the open water... or perhaps frolicking in the park with a dog... or many dogs...
BANG (the bubble bursts)
Back to reality... Toronto weather... not too bad but no nearby ocean... mind you, the sun is out longer each day and that makes me want to go outside and PLAY! I dream of riding my bike to work, along the lakeshore... nay - I even daydream of the day when I can RUN to work (25km - ha!) However, it's 'recovery week'... and on top of that I have an ear infection and no energy...so I can't... grrrrrr!
I know it's important to rest and heal the body... I know that... and yet... the child inside is screaming 'I'm BORED!!!!!!!' I have millions (perhaps trillions?) of endorphins inside of me screeching for blessed release... and they have nowhere to go... and instead have festered inside me into a ball of frustration.
I'm supposed to be on a recovery week and I couldn't even complete all of the (short and sweet) workouts I was given thanks to a respiratory infection that knocked me down flat after my long run last Saturday. Workouts that should have been 'easy' have felt incredibly hard to complete and .. consequently - once again, my mind focused on the 'lack' of accomplishment this week and the nasty little self-doubting tape replays itself... sigh... will I ever be free of that nagging little voice inside that can't seem to remember that I'm no longer the kid that no one would pick first for their team? I've got to squelch that little nag once and for all, one of these days. Maybe I'll name her and then give her a decent burial someday...
Activities I once would have gladly bailed on in favour of a good book now feel as though they would be my salvation! I feel ridiculous reading my words out loud but it's the truth. I've found myself in a cloud of anger several times this week because I was frustrated and sick and unable to do the things I wanted to do... and then I remembered to meditate...
Amidst all of the negative thoughts and emotions I've had this week, I'm reminded that I need to remember to be grateful for this moment. How many people in the world would love to have my 'problem' - boredom... instead of hunger, or poverty, or disease...? It's so easy to lose sight of the bigger picture, isn't it? In the big scheme of things, how much energy and time is wasted on such things as frustration, anger... boredom... in our lives when we have SO much for which to be grateful? I forget sometimes. I need to take that time for active rest and rejuvenation to remind myself... hey - guess I did accomplish something this week! :)
